Every year, the Sovereign Order of Malta chooses around 25 young volunteers from around the globe to take part in the silent Blessed Gerard Retreat. It consists of times of meditation, common prayer, lectures and offers the opportunity to share with others the witness of faith in the experiences made through the Order. Fra’ Dr. Georg Lengerke led the retreat with spiritual guidance alongside Father Romanos Bou Assi of the Lebanon Chabrouh Project. The retreat took place at Centro Nazareth, located in a quite secluded area next to Fiumicino airport. Despite the center’s modesty, its positive energy, beautiful park and peaceful landscape were perfect for this spiritual escape. Joumana Doummar and I were “Blessed” to represent the Lebanese Youth.
We spent 3 complete days in silence, meditating on the notions of knowing, loving and serving in regards to our faith. On the bright side, we got to hear what 30 people eating breakfast in silence sounds like. I’ll let you imagine the resonating spoons, the crunches of toast and the slurps of hot coffee.
For the first time in 9 years with the Youth of the Order, I was asked to introspect, and take care of myself instead of others. Many of us found out that it is much harder to serve, than to be served. We also faced the demons of our limitations when it comes to faith and service. Personally I really liked the idea that “to love is to want their greatness be drought up to light”. However, sometimes we are faced with those who don’t want their light to shine. In that case, we should accept that some things are out of our control. Fra’ Georg did an amazing job in making us understand the delicate balance and intertwining between spirituality and service by invoking the episode of Martha & Mary (Luke 10:38-42). We need to be cautious about service becoming overbearing and consequently losing sight of its spiritual essence. This was a valuable lesson in humility. I also grasped that without humility we cannot progress in spirituality.
What I mainly took back from this silence was a sense of renewal. Renewal in faith, in hope even in energy. We were all given a life changing opportunity to put a stop to our chaotic daily routines and reset our mindset. It was a chance to compare the urgency versus the importance of things and discern which matters have power or control over our lives.
We also left the silence with a better understanding about our vocation: The Order is a special call to serve. A desire to serve, but sincerely. We also talked about being ready to carry what we don’t agree with, out of love, forgiveness, compassion and tolerance. That to love someone is to tell them: you shall not suffer.
“We are not called by God to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things with extraordinary love.” ― Jean Vanier.
Priscilla Bakalian, Lebanese Volunteer
